Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

cat feces

November 11, 2007

the  my girlfriend’s cat (one of many) crapped on the carpet while she was away, I had just tried shot gunnin’ some b.c. bud in his nose and he crapped his furry little drawers about  five minutes later.  I’ll post a pic later on, for now I’ll just have to describe it for you, it looked a lot like a tootsie roll and smelled like cat shit

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Level Orange

November 10, 2007

So I went to pick up my girlfriend the other night at the airport and (pause for bong hit) when we went to the parking garage she said “where d’ya park?”, I said “level orange” and when we got to the top of the escalator she said “there IS no ORANGE, WTF!?”, so (pause for bong hit) we rode the escalator down a couple of levels and got off and wandered around while she got mad, then headed back to the escalator and on the glass door was a sign “Threat Level- Orange” and she smacked me on the head and said, “You are such a fuckin’ dumbass!”  I was totally not high by the time we found the car and now I fuckin’ hate terrorists. (pause for bong hit)

the universe explained

November 10, 2007

people with low self esteem shouldn’t read this. (pause for bong hit) I was thinking the other night about what a small part of the universe any given individual (you) is, really small, so small that most people- including me- don’t even know you exist. (pause for bong hit) In fact, if I went around the world asking poeple if they knew you, pretty much everyone would say no.  The universe is so big, and you are so statistically insignificant that you practically don’t exist.  I have a picture of it (the universe) I’ll post later.  For now I can describe it for you, it’s shaped like a tootsie roll and smells like cat shit.